Not Just "The Way Things Are"

Yesterday I had one of the most wonderful gifts a teacher can get from a student. Jerry, who appears to be in his mid-50s, began taking a corporate class with me several weeks ago. Despite having no Yoga experience, not being naturally flexible and finding the practice quite challenging, Jerry puts himself completely into the class, asks a lot of questions and, as I found out yesterday, has been doing some Yoga every day at home. He doesn't remember everything or find it any easier on his own, but he says his knees feel better than they have in years and that things "aren't hurting. I got used to things always hurting and now they're not." It is an amazing gift when a student really takes in what you are offering and begins to receive the benefits, and I'm grateful to him for sharing it.

What is most striking to me, however, is his reference to getting used to the way things were -- in this case, physical aches and pains -- and how that has changed. How many of us get used to things just being a particular way? We age, so we hurt, or gain weight, or slow down. We have difficulty with conflict, or with intimacy, or with reaching out, and we say that is just "how we are." But is it? Does it have to be? Psychology assumes that we can work with our challenges and learn new behaviors, resposnes and coping skills. Yoga assumes that with practice and persistence, we can change and surpass our limitations. No one says this is easy; ironically, it's a lot easier to acquiesce and accept a relationship, a job, even a life that is less fulfilling than you want it to be. But when you get a taste of how it could be different, well... Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes said "a mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions." Try a little practice and begin to feel differently, feel what is possible. Then remember that feeling! It will help you keep going when you feel like giving up and giving in because, after all, that's just "the way you are."