The Wisdom of Uncertainty

I've been thinking a lot lately about "knowing." My favored approach to Yoga and meditation teaches that through these practices we become a clear channel for the universal energy and develop the courage to be guided to act through intuitive prompting, even when our conscious mind is uncertain about the path. I still believe this -- but it is curious to me when the "knowing" extends to feeling that you understand the meaning of a particular experience and it turns out very differently. This came up in a recent experience where I met someone with whom I felt a mutual connection that I thought would continue. After we met, I "knew" we would meet again, it felt very clear and certain; however, it quickly became clear that we would not. This led me to question what I actually felt certain about -- I was certain about my own experience, that was easy. But I also felt certain of the other person's experience, based on words, action and...well, you know, the vibe. Isn't that what we're talking about, the vibe? And yet, I was wrong.

It seems to me that "knowing" and trusting the energy in a particular moment is very often attached to the idea of a particular outcome, and this subtle distinction is key. When we practice, we learn to sense what to do moment to moment and follow the energy and be willing to see what happens, and to give up our expectations. It means that despite our absolute best efforts, we still can't know another person's experience and we can't know for sure what is going to happen. It becomes clear that we are all swimming in a vast ocean of uncertainty, the realization of which I think is too much for most of us to tolerate. And yet, if we are to really try to understand our lives in the context of the greater energy, we must be willing to admit how little we actually know, shift our perspective to our present experience and become fully awake and aware to the mystery of the moment. At least, I think so.